It has been awhile since I expressed myself here. Honestly, the reason for that is I was questioning a lot of things in my life from law school to my capabilities of comprehending an exam. I am back at step 1 intermediate.

Let me explain a revelation that came to me the other night. Its not that I can't do but what I have not done. Yes, God grants the desires of your life; however, He doesn't just pick you out randomly and say ok its your turn. This does not happen by any means- He sees your passion along with the work you put to gain it combined with your faith in him. I lost that faith, I lost that faith awhile ago.

It's funny because I'm able to encourage and motivate-even instill faith in other people- but when it comes to myself I would run out of fingers and toes counting how many times I have told myself no and choose another path. Its easy to put on a happy face and state your faith to others-it's a shame that you go through the motions and turmoil when alone.

This is not a pity party by no means necessary, it's simply an awakening for me and what it is that needs to be done. There will be no more claiming anything until I've shown proof of the need to claim. There will be no more procrastination because what I feel now is that time is winding down and I am being given an opportunity to gain a dream but at someone else's expense (this will wear out sooner than I think). This is still the a race and the finish line is still law school; however, my prospective for Me and my Actions have changed. Welcome to a new disciplined self.